Edward Syndrom Images

Title: Is not No Reason
Author: MkbDiapason
Rating: PG
Fandom: Star Trek TOS
Pairing: McCoy / Kirk / Spock
Warnings: none
Plot: Set during the end of the episode "The Man Trap" and after.
"But I do not see it that way kill Jim?!
"Yes, I see. Of course. Distintamente.Osservo that life, my captain, my companion. I hear her cry in front of me, spilling his hands on his viso.I his eyes watching me through his fingers seem dumb. They seem to scream in a dull appeal. But I will not listen and so I turned to look at the creature that brought me to this point, a step away from killing. The creature that I showed how fleeting is my volontà.Come in light of this I can believe in me? God, how much they can trust me?!



Nda I Set during the end del'episodio "The Man Trap," a terrible episode in my opinion (I can not watch it without crying. Watching Bones in that state is heartbreaking TT) and the final because I was not at all satisfied, I attempted (and perhaps too much XD) to highlight its so sad and distressing thoughts and then I wanted to give a touch sentimental-romantic at the end XDD.

Before you start to read tell you to write songs I've heard (of course, there is no textual match between what I wrote and the lyrics of the song, if not sporadic phrases or words)

For the first part (up under 3 stars): "In the End" by Linkin Park (alternative to "Numb")

"But I do not see that it will kill Jim?"

Yes, I see. Of course. Separately. My hands motionless, my hand shake it shows no sign of disobedience.

The feel betrayed.

They more than any other part of my anatomy should be the means through which I may preserve life, to protect, treat it.

hesitate now to save a life.

And not just any life.

Life in which I voted my loyalty.

Life that my hands have a duty to care for, soothed, protected.

The life to which my hands are consecrated.

But now it's over.

note that life, my captain, my companion.

I hear her cry in front of me, poured on his face in his hands.

dumb Her eyes seem to spy on me through his fingers.

seem to scream in a dull appeal.

But I will not listen and so I turned to look at the creature that brought me to this point, a step away from killing.

creature whose deception was not able to escape.

The creature that I showed how fleeting is my will.

As the light of this I can believe in me?

have faith in what they are?

If my actions can be manipulated to change up to this point, how can I trust?

God, how much they can trust me?!

Spock peered at me with eyes of beast.

dark deep enough to be able to distil-paradoxically-reproach.

Scolding loud that my eyes can not tolerate.

me nothing is more tolerable.

I feel I fall into the abyss of my ineptitude and once sealed, how dare I get out?

How dare They should entrust again their lives to someone like me?

I'm still here. One step away from them.

my eyes still in their figures.

My body chained to the wall of my apartment.

an invisible chain whose links torturing my every muscle and grant me just one breath.

The last breath of shame that grips me.

observe in silence.

And They suffer in silence and blame me.

must certainly be so, because the air is full of disappointment.

Although Jim does not see, from the face of Spock I take every warning and even awe.

And I am surprised as he, and maybe more.

are not worthy of them.

their stronghold of spirit, their immortality, their greatness of spirit, their pride, their firmness, of their strength.

This man is not worthy of their weak consideration.

The man of a thousand failures.

I have failed in everything.

What is left of me at this point?

Everything that makes a man a wreck of himself.

stripped of all virtues.

Forgive me ...

still perceive Spock and his warnings hit me again and again. How lame hot march in the skin blood.

Then indifference.

Spock surrender to torture and simply ignore what is left of this man.

My eyes stop seeing. A tightening force and I feel sew the eyelids together.

Despite my resignation at the sight I hear through the door of my apartment with Jim in his arms and I shudder when one of his hands almost unconscious on the contrary my fingers too conscious and sensitive, unworthy of touch.

chain slows clement its grip giving me an undeserved freedom.

So I drop to the ground.

***

My eyes slowly, carefully unfold and suddenly cling, s'incatenano one more look bending over me.

Your golden eyes that I missed so much at this time and so I wanted to see with the terror of it on me.

strange laws in this gold liquid languish on a sweet understanding, a peace that rocks me and confuses me.

"Bones ..."

His loving whisper on my lips.

"How do you feel?"

I demand.

I could hardly hold back a laugh.

"God, Jim ... but how? This is a question that should offer your own doctor ..."

joke bitterly.

"I'm all right, Bones. I want to know exactly how my first official doctor. My Friend. "

I dedicate this concern and I look away, hanging with restless shadows on the wall. Animated in a riot similar to mine.

"I do not have good news for both, Jim ... or to the medical officer or for your friend ..."

muttered the last word with my sarcasm congenital.

Jim smiles at me lovingly, but his face s'adombra just a sad film.

"Really? Is there anything I can do for them?"

It pushes my game unhappy.

"There is nothing you can do for them. Your friend then ... there's nothing left of him ... It is no longer worthy of you. And ashamed ... "

I'm going to sit down and posted my gaze to the sheets as disordered thoughts.

"It was not their fault ..."

I said.

"Shit ..."

answer.

"Why are so severe? "

I demand.

"Why are two idiots ..."

answer.

"But I think they are a great doctor and a good friend ..."

think to cheer him up, and I bow my head. His chin sunk in his chest pushed by guilt.

"They have allowed the monster ... to touch ... I have almost killed him ..."

protest.

"But I'm here."

continue to push me in the chest.

"How can you still trust them, Jim? Forgive them this? "

ask.

"It does not forgive them ..."

a correct answer. Right. I raise.

"See? Well ... I'm fine ... I'll live with this ... "

Even with this latest failure. It is now used to it.

"Do not lose them, Bones, because there is nothing to forgive ... "

Explode.

"Why do you say that?! I prefer a thousand times more than you hate me, rather than grant forgiveness in this way. It would be a thousand times more acceptable! "

M'inabisso deeper into his chest.

"Bones ..."

stops it.

"Jim, I do not do it! I can not even look for me ... I feel rotten. Stop ... "

I do not understand your attitude.

'm always constantly prepared to acknowledge any guilt.

I accept the failures with resigned acceptance, without possibility of redemption.

And know that He gives me so ...

And suddenly I feel his arms and wrap my face, instinctively, you lift a little to find refuge in his chest.

"They are not even able to lend medical assistance as they are, and you have not been close friend who I am. What else I offer after being found not to have any of my duty towards you? What else? Tell me, Jim ... "

I look up to her eyes as clear as it is handsome.

"Bones ..." I whispered

too kindly.

I look at him and showed him the treacherous hands.

"These hands ... these hands have helped you, Jim"

I hate them.

But he takes them in his, sees through them, smile and pat his back, tickling the palm, fingers, kissing ...

"I love these hands, Bones ... and its owner ..."

solidify his eyes with the words and the statement is consolidated with them and so I get some, Vera .

"Jim ..."

I feel pain and emotion plow my hot face.

me free.

"Now forgiven, Bones ..."

"Jim ... forgive me ..."

"There is no reason why should I forgive you, I've already said ... "

I melt in the warmth of her embrace that dispels all my doubts.

"There is no reason ..."

And his words lull me, spoil me with their sweetness.

now accuses me playfully.

criticizes my stupidity.

Spock And now it appears that door and watches me.

His eyes gaze upon me from a distance and they also scold me.

reproached my stupidity. My human, insane, illogical masochism.

And finally, I embrace them as well.

shyly, silently.

And I understand that there is no reason to continue to blame ...

There is no reason in the light of this.

And I close my eyes again, gently.

Pleasantly closed.

And I feel soothed, again and again and again ...

"There is no reason, Bones ..."

And I feel free.